DirtyLAWndry reader, Kimberly, just sent me this ad from Craigslist. Get $10/hour to be a “wannabe lawyer” which apparently includes any “soccer mom/lawyer/paralegal/former or unemployed lawyer that needs the mental stimulus that the legal world offers.”

WANNABE LAWYER (Norristown)
Date: 2010-02-19, 12:01PM EST
Reply to: Norristownrentals@hotmail.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

Are you seeking part time employment? We are Real Estate Management Company, established in 1976, with an office on Swede Street (Lawyers row) Norristown, 3 ½ blocks from the Montgomery County Court house.
Do you enjoy challenges; have the skill, confidence and knowledge to compete in the Courts and win? Are you good at research and writing briefs? Do you want to try your hand at different areas of the law? Do you want to participate in the varied requirements that comprise a working business from accounts payable to taxes? Are you a soccer mom/lawyer/paralegal/former or unemployed lawyer that needs the mental stimulus that the legal world offers?
Here is an opportunity to work with experienced supervision and a licensed lawyer coworker.
We offer flexible hours ,Monday-Friday:8AM-6PM,Saturday,9am-5pm,Sunday,12pm-6pm. We seek a self motivated, honest, over achieving, well organized individual to work app.20 hrs per week, with time expansion possibilities, performing the following jobs:
1. Writing, preparing and filing legal documents of diverse subject matter.
2. Data entry for QuickBooks business finance program.
You need a car and are reimbursed for company errands using your vehicle.
Spanish Bi-lingual is a plus, but not required.
You must be pet friendly. I have a very large friendly white male Samoyed dog who craves attention and a black Scottish Fold cat that have free run of the office. I believe in balancing the pressures of work with the soothing physiological benefits of pets.
You can start work immediately.
Please send resume listing education, work history, residence, contact number and salary for the past 5 years.

* Location: Norristown
* Compensation: Start at $10 per hour, 2 week re-evaluation
* This is a part-time job.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Jackrabbit Factor award-winning bestseller FREE Download
Jackrabbit Factor award-winning bestseller FREE Download

NEW ORLEANS (AP) — A suspended attorney is in jail for allegedly e-mailing a threat to the federal bankruptcy court in New Orleans, the FBI said Sunday.

Ashton R. O’Dwyer, 62, had a loaded handgun when he was arrested about 9:40 p.m. Friday evening on the 6000 block of St. Charles Ave., a news release said. His home is on that block.

A sworn statement supporting the arrest warrant said that, earlier Friday, he sent an e-mail including the statement, “Given the recent “security breach’ at 500 Poydras Street, a number of scoundrels might be at risk if I DO become homicidal.”

500 Poydras Street is the address of the federal courthouse.

Thorne says O’Dwyer is being held until a detention hearing scheduled Monday. She says he had an initial court appearance on Saturday.

The Louisiana Supreme Court suspended his law license on March 30, citing a threat of harm which it did not describe.

The U.S. District Court in New Orleans suspended him from its bar for five years in November 2008. That order said O’Dwyer could apply for reinstatement after two years if he took stress and anger management counseling and could prove that his courtroom behavior and practice were up to standard.

It said he also would need certification that nobody had accused him of any unethical or unprofessional conduct of any type since Nov. 7, 2008.

Copyright 2010 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

You can view Ashton R. O’Dwyer’s Order of Suspension here. The Order does not go into detail regarding the actual “threat of harm”, but you can read more about Ashton R. O’Dwyer and what lead to the suspension here.

If anyone has more to add to this story, email me at blog@dirtyLAWndry.com.

Jackrabbit Factor award-winning bestseller FREE Download
Jackrabbit Factor award-winning bestseller FREE Download

You can donate money to the Yele Haiti Earthquake fund in one of two ways:

1. Using your cell phone, text “Yele” to 501501 to make a $5 donation; or

2. Visit the donation page at Yele.org or you can click on the banner below to be taken directly to the donation form.

100% of donations will be utilized for the relief fund.

I came across an interesting article at the ABAJournal today. A graduate of an unaccredited online law school is petitioning the Minnesota Supreme Court to “allow lawyers licensed in other states to sit for the Minnesota bar exam, regardless of their legal education.”

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If you have a story you’d like to share with DirtyLAWndry, please email it to blog@dirtyLAWndry.com with “Reader Submission” in the subject field.

Also, if you’re a solo practitioner or entrepreneur, I’d love to feature you on the Entrepreneur page (http://entrepreneurs.dirtylawndry.com/) of this site. For more information about this opportunity, please visit the Entrepreneur page.

DirtyLAWndry reader - “Jill” - has an interesting story about her contract job that she wants to share.

Hey DirtyLAWndry! I am a contract attorney working at [a medium-sized firm]. This is the first legal job I’ve been able to get since I graduated last year. I hate it, but I have no other options at the moment. Anyway, we have two openly gay partners that … well … are each other’s partners. I honestly have no problem with that because I live in a big city and it’s not unusual to see lesbian or gay couples.

What I can’t stand is the constant bickering between the two of them. Whenever they have a fight (which is often and over every little thing), there’s always a huge battle royale and everyone in the firm has to know about it. It’s so weird because they expect everyone to take sides. And I mean everyone…even clients who may happen to be in the firm at the time. I just think it’s so unprofessional, especially when they start with the personal attacks on each other’s anatomy, the rolling of the necks, and the swaying of the index finger.

Most people laugh it off because they’re used to it, but I’m worried about the firm’s reputation. I plan on getting a better paying job once the economy picks up. This is the only real legal experience that I have and I’m worried about putting this firm’s name on my resume. When judges and attorneys learn where I work, they usually want to know about the partners and their latest antics in the office. It seems like they feel my firm is a big joke because of these two partners. Should I talk to the partners and let them know about our reputation outside of the firm?

DirtyLAWndry’s Quick Answer: HELL-TO-THE-NO! “Jill”, getting fired won’t look good on your resume either. I would keep my mouth shut. Besides, as a contract attorney, you don’t technically work for this firm. Your employer is the temp agency that assigned you to this firm. So, I believe you would have to put the temp agency’s information on your resume. Or, at least, that’s how it used to be. But, maybe I’m wrong so I will post the question for you.

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If you have a story you’d like to share with DirtyLAWndry, please email it to blog@dirtyLAWndry.com with “Reader Submission” in the subject field.

Also, if you’re a solo practitioner or entrepreneur, I’d love to feature you on the Entrepreneur page (http://entrepreneurs.dirtylawndry.com/) of this site. For more information about this opportunity, please visit the Entrepreneur page.

DirtyLAWndry reader - “Meredith” - wants to know whether she is obligated to attend the holiday office party.

“My name is “Meredith” and I’m having problems at work. My firm has an annual holiday office party. It’s in December, but they send invites out early to see who’s going to attend. The party is held after work at a nearby hotel. We have many beliefs in our office, so the holiday party is very inclusive of everyone’s beliefs, even a handful of atheists. I was and still am the only black person at the firm. So, I guess to include me, the planners decided to incorporate Kwanza into the party. I didn’t know this ahead of time when I attended the party a few years back. During that party, there were African dancers and an African band. Then, my boss wanted me to say a few words about Kwanza. Well, I don’t celebrate Kwanza and it was pretty awkward when I told that to everyone. To make matters worse, my colleagues were saying how Kwanza is so important to African-Americans and they didn’t believe that I didn’t celebrate it. I tried to explain that not every black person is African-American. I am West Indian, but a permanent US resident. This went over everyone’s heads. Then, the party just got out of hand with all sorts of nonsense - stripping, flashing, people getting drunk, etc. Anyway, the following year I attended the holiday office party and again I was asked to tell everyone about Kwanza, which I still knew nothing about. And, again everyone got drunk. So, I stopped attending the office party ever since to avoid that situation. I’ve always been polite about it and come up with different excuses every year.

Well, the invites came out again this year and I declined to attend. Now, every week leading up to the party, there is always a Friday treat. Normally, we receive an email announcement and then head down to the lunchroom. During one of these treat breaks, one of the secretaries that plans the party suggested that the treats should only be for those who attend the holiday party. Well, I’m the only one who never goes to this party. So, I took it as a joke and figured she was just playing with me. Well, I haven’t received any email announcements since. Am I obligated to attend holiday parties? On the real, I just don’t like being around these people any longer than I am paid to do so.”

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If you have a story you’d like to share with DirtyLAWndry, please email it to blog@dirtyLAWndry.com with “Reader Submission” in the subject field.

Also, if you’re a solo practitioner or entrepreneur, I’d love to feature you on the Entrepreneur page (http://entrepreneurs.dirtylawndry.com/) of this site. For more information about this opportunity, please visit the Entrepreneur page.

In case you missed it, the ABA is lobbying Congress for student loan relief for struggling lawyers. They would like to see private educational debt converted to government loans for the deferment benefits that government loans provide. We all know that private lenders don’t provide any relief to law graduates. So, this is HUGE! What are your thoughts?

For more information, visit the ABAJournal.

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If you have a story you’d like to share with DirtyLAWndry, please email it to blog@dirtyLAWndry.com with “Reader Submission” in the subject field.

Also, if you’re a solo practitioner or entrepreneur, I’d love to feature you on the Entrepreneur page (http://entrepreneurs.dirtylawndry.com/) of this site. For more information about this opportunity, please visit the Entrepreneur page.

DirtyLAWndry reader - “Greg” - thinks that his boss deserves an honorable mention on the site. Here’s why:

“I work at a small firm in Philly as a paralegal. My boss is one of those annoying personal injury attorneys that advertise on tv with paid actors. He thinks these commercials make him a celebrity. He’s a slime-ball. First of all, he pays cops, cab drivers, ambulance drivers, and hospital personnell to give him information about potential new clients when there’s an accident or slip-n-fall. He’s always forcing us paralegals to go to the hospitals and basically pass out his cards or go into patients’ rooms and offer his services. I thought this was something that attorneys weren’t allowed to do. We’ve complained about this to the other attorneys at the firm because I was told that attorneys have an ethical duty to disclose this kind of information to the disciplinary board. Well, the other attorneys have done absolutely nothing, even though they know this is what’s going on.

Someone in my office found out that non-attorneys can contact the disciplinary board anonymously. A few of us figured that this would be the way to go because we certainly didn’t want to risk our jobs over this. The disciplinary board posted on their website that he was going to be disciplined and they had a link to his offense…for a second. Suddenly, now his record is clean as a whistle on the website. Apparently, the ethics committee must have been paid off or he has something on them. There was never any disciplinary action.

The ambulance-chasing issue wasn’t the only thing that we complained about either. He also has a habit of using client’s funds for his personal expenses, like trips to the Galapagos, spa treatments, wining and dining his runners, etc. He’ll tell clients they can pick up their checks on a certain day at a certain time, but we never have enough cash to cover the checks. So, when the checks bounce he tries to charm them with his “celeb-status” and just gives them the run-around. Now, I know for a fact that quite a few of these clients have complained also but still he has a clean attorney record.

Lastly, he’s been cutting back on our pay. He claims it’s the only way that we can stay open. We don’t believe him because we’re still getting a good number of new clients daily. His retainer fee is pretty high and most of our cases either get settled or arbitrated for $50K. So, we’re doing pretty well considering there are about 30 new cases every single day. That’s not bad for a small firm. Plus, he and his partner haven’t taken any cuts. I know it sounds like I’m complaining when I should just be grateful to have a job, but he’s getting away with a lot of stuff and it seems like no one wants to do anything about it.”

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If you have a story you’d like to share with DirtyLAWndry, please email it to blog@dirtyLAWndry.com with “Reader Submission” in the subject field.

Also, if you’re a solo practitioner or entrepreneur, I’d love to feature you on the Entrepreneur page (http://entrepreneurs.dirtylawndry.com/) of this site. For more information about this opportunity, please visit the Entrepreneur page.

Illinois immigration lawyer, Samir Zia Chowhan, placed an ad in the Adult Gigs section of Craigslist seeking to hire a secretary/legal assistant willing to have sex with him and his partner. Here’s a snippet from the post:

Loop law firm looking to hire am [sic] energetic woman for their open secretary/legal assistant position. Duties will include general secretarial work, some paralegal work and additional duties for two lawyers in the firm. No experience required, training will be provided. Generous annual salary and benefits will be provided, including medical, dental, life, disability, 401(k) etc. If interested, please send current resume and a few pictures along with a description of your physical features, including measurements. We look forward to meeting you.

It seems pretty straightforward, right (well, except for the request for a picture and description)? Well, Debbie Dickinson responded to the ad with her employment history, a photo, her height, clothing size and her measurements. Here’s the reply she received from Samir Zia Chowhan.

“Debbi,

Thank you for your interest in the job. I just wanted to give you some more info about the job and see if you are still interested in interviewing.

Our law firm is a boutique firm, concentrating solely in immigration law. The name of the law firm is Chowhan Law, P.C. You can see the website at www.chowhanlaw.com. You would be working with the two partners of the firm. Your duties will include the general secretarial work and legal work. The legal work will include filling out visa applications, etc. As mentioned in the posting, you will have an annual salary which will depend on your experience and other factors, the range will be from $50,000 to $75,000. In addition, we provide several benefits such as medical, dental, retirement, life, disability.

As this is posted in the “adult gigs” section, in addition to the legal work, you would be required to have sexual interaction with me and my partner, sometimes together sometimes separate. This part of the job would require sexy dressing and flirtatious interaction with me and my partner, as well as sexual interaction. You will have to be comfortable doing this with us.

If you think you’re comfortable so far, please let me know and we can proceed with the process.

The next step is to set up an interview. When are you available to interview? I am free to interview today. Please let me know what your availability is.

Lastly, we’ve actually hired a couple of girls in the past for this position. But they have not been able to handle the sexual aspect of the job later. We have to be sure you’re comfortable with that aspect, because I don’t want you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with. So since that time, we’ve decided that as part of the interview process you’ll be required to perform for us sexually (i didn’t do this before with the other girls i hired, now i think i have to because they couldn’t handle it). Because that aspect is an integral part of the job, I think it’s necessary to see if you can do that, because it’ll predict future behavior of you being able to handle it when you have the job.

If you’re still okay with everything, let me know what you’re availability is and we can figure out a time for you to come in and interview. Let me know. Thanks for your interest.

Samir”

NO…..DirtyLAWndry is not making this up. You can see the ethics complaint and full details on the Illinois Attorney Registration And Disciplinary Commission’s website: https://www.iardc.org/09CH0053CM.html Initially, Samir Zia Chowhan lied about posting the ad saying, “It appears that somebody with malice [sic] intentions has used my business information to post the advertisement on Craigslist. I did not post the advertisement for a legal secretary,” but he later confessed to it.

I’m still trying to figure out why Debbie Dickinson was in the Adult Gigs’ section looking for a secretary/legal assistant job. Hmmm….

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If you have a story you’d like to share with DirtyLAWndry, please email it to blog@dirtyLAWndry.com with “Reader Submission” in the subject field.

Also, if you’re a solo practitioner or entrepreneur, I’d love to feature you on the Entrepreneur page (http://entrepreneurs.dirtylawndry.com/) of this site. For more information about this opportunity, please visit the Entrepreneur page.

DirtyLAWndry reader, “Lauren,” writes about her experience working as a legal clerk.

Hey DirtyLAWndry! I’ve been clerking for less than a year, but in that time I have formed the opinion that judges are required to abuse their power. There are quite a few legal clerks here and we have all witnessed the same over-reaction by overly-sensitive (sometimes insensitive) judges. Fridays are the worst days of the week for us. One judge in particular always shows up extremely late and falls asleep during cases, especially on Fridays. Today, he was extremely irritable when he came in to work. Within maybe 20 minutes on the bench, he fell asleep. He always tries to play it off like he’s reading documents or in deep thought (with his eyes closed). But, today he was snoring so loudly that it wasn’t fooling anybody. During a trial today, an attorney was admonished for waking up the judge. There was an objection that needed to be settled. You would think that the judge would be embarassed or at the very least stay awake afterwards. Nope. He fell right back asleep. He would get annoyed every time one of the attorneys objected and start yelling at them. It got to the point that the attorneys stopped waking him up and turned to me and the bailiff for assistance. So, I try waking the judge up. Next thing I know, I’m being threatened with contempt for waking up “your honor.” He’s screaming at me that I should spend time in jail over the weekend. I am sooo not cut out for this. I’m sure it’s not ALL judges, however, it seems like there is a vast majority that get a kick out of abusing their power.

Reader, what do you think?

UPDATE: I just saw a story over at the ABAJournal and I was reminded of “Lauren’s” submission. Douglas County, Missouri Attorney Carl Smith has been jailed for 120 days on criminal contempt charges for critical statements he wrote about Circuit Judge Robert Carter, County Prosecutor Christopher Wade and other court officials in an appellate brief for a client. Read more….

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If you have a story you’d like to share with DirtyLAWndry, please email it to blog@dirtyLAWndry.com.

Also, if you’re a solo practitioner or entrepreneur, I’d love to feature you on the Entrepreneur page (http://entrepreneurs.dirtylawndry.com/) of this site. For more information about this opportunity, please visit the Entrepreneur page.