Dirty LAWndry reader, “Gloria”, wants us to be aware of the next fire drill:
“This is why all my personal belongings can be swooped with one arm into a Macy’s shopping, and I can roll out on the train with deliberate speed. This tactic will push an already mentally fragile employee over the edge.”
A fire alarm rang at 4 pm in a large office campus when almost all employees were present ( approx 5,000 people ). As per past fire-drill practices, the entire office was quickly evacuated within 3 minutes, and all employees gathered outside the complex in designated areas waiting for further announcements. Before long, the fire drill officer in-charge made the following broadcast over their loud-speakers system :
“My dear colleagues : With sincere regret, I have been asked to announce that for many of you, this will be your last evacuation drill with us. Due to the on-going recession and bad business climate, the company is laying off almost 50% of its staff. So when this announcement finishes, I ask all of you to move back into the building. And if your swipe-card does not work, then it means that you have been laid off, in which case you will not be allowed inside, and all your personal belongings will be couriered to you by tomorrow. The company is using this innovative, never-before approach as we do not want to choke our email system with lay-off notices and farewell messages going by the thousands, and we also wish to avoid any fighting inside the office and the consequent security issues for all staff. We hope you have had a rewarding career with us. Now please move back in… and good luck!”
The moral of this story is ALWAYS TAKE YOUR BELONGINGS WITH YOU! If anyone knows more about this story, please fill me in.
Have you been following the Victoria Sprouse trial? Sprouse is a real estate lawyer from North Carolina that was convicted last week of bank fraud, money laundering and conspiracy. The prosecutors argued that she lied to lenders, falsified settlement statements and stole from her clients, which resulted in her and other conspirators receiving more than $5 million dollars from the scheme. Sprouse denied committing the crimes and said she “had relied too heavily on her staff to prepare mortgage documents properly and hadn’t closely supervised their work.” She was also quoted as saying “I’m disappointed the jury could think that mistakes, errors and sloppiness in a busy law firm equates to fraud. … I have so many supporters. I’m sorry they were let down as well.” You can read the full story at the Charlotte Observer.
The more I read about Sprouse is the more that my dirty radar starts to chime. Yes, I agree that mistakes can be made in busy firms. But, as attorneys, we should adhere to the one thing that we advise others all the time - READ BEFORE SIGNING! So, I’m not buying her “I didn’t know what I was signing” defense. Then, there’s the fact that she’s blaming her staff for falsifying documents, but where’s the evidence that they got a cut of the $5 million. Ugh. My radar can’t handle it. What do you think?
Dirty LAWndry reader,”Jake”, submits the following:
“I was reading that Covington & Burling is being sued by one of its former staff attorneys based on allegations of racial discrimination. The staff attorney accused the firm of “stockpiling its staff attorney ghetto with blacks and other minorities.” At first, I figured this was just one of those situations that the staff attorney was just bitter about losing her job. But then, Covington & Burling puts out a statement that the ex-staff attorney’s “average grade was only slightly better than a ‘C,’ well below the threshold level for a Covington associate.”
So, why did they hire her in the first place? Is this the norm for their staff attorneys? Looking at their website, I don’t see much diversity in associates and partners listed. So I wonder if hiring minorities with grade averages below the “threshold level” is intentional on their part, in order to use their grades as an excuse not to provide any opportunity for advancement. Plus, as attorneys, we all know that law school grades do not reflect how you will fair as an attorney. I know plenty of summa cum laude graduates that can’t even pass the bar exam. Then, there are the licensed ones who are just idiots when it comes to the practice of law. I just find the statement by Covington & Burling to be a bit suspect and wanted to share my opinion.”
Thanks for sending the links to this story and to the complaint, “Jake”! You can find more information regarding the Covington & Burling case below.
After yesterday’s drama in the comment section, I felt the need to post something to try to lift the spirits of the 38 soon-to-be jobless contract workers. This is from the University of Alabama Law Revue.
DirtyLAWndry reader, “Tiffany,” just found out that this is going to be her last week at her job.
Hi. I work at a law firm doing document review. I’ve been here for about four years now. During this time, I’ve had to put up with a lot of nonsense. There are about 40 attorneys on this project. For the past few months, our work has slowed down tremendously. The staff attorney in charge of the project, “Eileen”, has been giving us small assignments here and there for other projects. But, she has been running out of things for us to do. Instead of firing all of us, she asked another staff attorney, “Mike”, whether he could use us for an upcoming project. I sit close to “Mike’s” office, so I overheard the conversation. He told “Eileen” that he planned on hiring new reviewers from a recruiting agency. “Eileen” argued that it didn’t make sense to do so since her reviewers were available. She knew that “Mike’s” project was only going to last for 8 weeks, and she was hoping that by the time it ended, she would have more work for us. “Mike” is one of those attorneys that feels super-important, has a huge ego problem, and thinks they’re funny when they are so not. In addition, he’s a big pervert. We all nicknamed him “the Man-whore”. So, it didn’t surprise me when he said “oh, just fire the lot of them. I’m trying to bone some new flesh.” I just assumed he was joking. This conversation took place about three weeks ago. I told a couple of people, but we figured that “Eileen” would let us know when the project was ending.
Well, today, I found out that this is my last week. But, this didn’t come from “Eileen”. She still hasn’t said a word. This morning, “Mike” had a meeting with two of the attorneys from my group. These attorneys are both young, single ladies fresh out of law school. Apparently, he selected them to join him in his project that’s going to start in two weeks. During this meeting, he also told them that the rest of us were being let go this week. So, of course, the two attorneys told their friends and now everyone knows. We’re all pissed about it because we still haven’t received an “official” word from “Eileen”, even though some people emailed her about the situation. Plus, this was going to be a short week for us anyway because of Good Friday. “Eileen” has been conveniently MIA since “Mike’s” meeting ended.
To make matters worse, we’ve been blacklisted from this new project. One of the reviewers was able to find out which staffing agency was going to staff “Mike’s” project. So, of course, people here started making phone calls and submitting their resumes. People started complaining that they were given negative responses, even though they’ve had years of document review experience. So, I decided to call for myself. The conversation with the recruiter was going well until she asked me where I was working. I told her the name of the firm and then she requested the name of the case. I tried to be slick and say that I was not able to give her that information. But, she said that she understood and that I could just give her the initials. So, I did, and as soon as she heard that, she said that the law firm had requested that the staffing agency not place anyone that had worked on that project on the new one. We already know that there isn’t a conflicts problem because of the information that the two attorneys gave us. “Mike” just wants his “new flesh”.
I know that document review isn’t a secure or stable job. But, I was expecting that my boss would tell me that the project was ending instead of hearing it through the doc review grapevine. I hope that bastard “Mike” is happy knowing that he just fired 38 people in this terrible economy. I have much more to share with you about “Mike”, but this email is already lengthy.
Sorry to hear about the lay off, “Tiffany”. I will surely post any info that you have to share about “Mike” as I’m sure my readers want to know more about this “lovely” person.
“John” writes in today with a request to female litigators.
“I’m a new solo practitioner right out of law school. I handle mostly criminal matters. When things are slow, I’ll go to the courthouse to watch a case or two and try to learn some trial techniques. Today, an assistant DA was doing a really good job presenting his case. Defense counsel was having a hard time with her objections. It seems she was getting on the judge’s nerves because whenever she missed an objection, the judge would just call out “sustained” and give her a look that said “pay attention, please.” By the time she rested, it was pretty obvious that she was going to lose (at least from my point of view). Well, during her closing argument, she started crying and basically begging the jury to find her client innocent. It was unbelievable! It wasn’t even that kind of an emotional case. We’re talking simple assault here. I was embarrassed for her, but, at the same time, I was a little angry. I think it is so beneath any female attorney to try and shed a tear on cue just to win a case. Do you think it would be acceptable if men did this? I wish you could have seen the look on her face after her little drama act. She looked so confident that her boo-hoo-ing had worked. She kept dabbing tissues at her eyes, even though the tears had long dried. I just wanted to share this and say: Female attorneys….DO BETTER!”
If you have stories you’d like to share, email them to me at blog@dirtyLAWndry.com.
I’m still shaking my head at this one. Dirty LAWndry reader, “Sam”, wrote in to tell us about the drama that unfolded at his firm earlier today.
“Today was one of the craziest days ever. I’m not a lawyer, but I just sat for the February bar and I’m waiting for my results. Anyway, I’ve been working for a small personal injury firm since August of last year. To outsiders, our firm may appear to be pretty conservative. However, there are a bunch of people here that act to the contrary. The boss, who’s married, has been having an affair with one of the paralegals. Everyone pretty much knows about it because they’re so obvious. They are constantly complimenting one another and giggling at inside jokes. Yesterday, the paralegal had a bit of an attitude. No one knew why until the s**t hit the fan today. Apparently, our boss and the paralegal went shopping together during the day. Our boss asked the paralegal what she wanted, and instead of buying it for her, he bought it for his wife. Just now, the paralegal’s boyfriend comes storming into the office wanting to fight our boss. And get this, the boyfriend wasn’t even mad that the boss was sleeping with his girlfriend. Rather, he was mad that the boss had stopped giving the paralegal gifts. Apparently, he had a little gig selling the gifts on e-bay. It seemed to take a long time for security to get to our suite (which is another concern of mine). During that time, our boss and the paralegal’s boyfriend are duking it out. When it was over, the office looked like a tornado had passed through it.”
If you have stories you’d like to share, email them to me at blog@dirtyLAWndry.com.
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