DirtyLAWndry reader - “Meredith” - wants to know whether she is obligated to attend the holiday office party.
“My name is “Meredith” and I’m having problems at work. My firm has an annual holiday office party. It’s in December, but they send invites out early to see who’s going to attend. The party is held after work at a nearby hotel. We have many beliefs in our office, so the holiday party is very inclusive of everyone’s beliefs, even a handful of atheists. I was and still am the only black person at the firm. So, I guess to include me, the planners decided to incorporate Kwanza into the party. I didn’t know this ahead of time when I attended the party a few years back. During that party, there were African dancers and an African band. Then, my boss wanted me to say a few words about Kwanza. Well, I don’t celebrate Kwanza and it was pretty awkward when I told that to everyone. To make matters worse, my colleagues were saying how Kwanza is so important to African-Americans and they didn’t believe that I didn’t celebrate it. I tried to explain that not every black person is African-American. I am West Indian, but a permanent US resident. This went over everyone’s heads. Then, the party just got out of hand with all sorts of nonsense - stripping, flashing, people getting drunk, etc. Anyway, the following year I attended the holiday office party and again I was asked to tell everyone about Kwanza, which I still knew nothing about. And, again everyone got drunk. So, I stopped attending the office party ever since to avoid that situation. I’ve always been polite about it and come up with different excuses every year.
Well, the invites came out again this year and I declined to attend. Now, every week leading up to the party, there is always a Friday treat. Normally, we receive an email announcement and then head down to the lunchroom. During one of these treat breaks, one of the secretaries that plans the party suggested that the treats should only be for those who attend the holiday party. Well, I’m the only one who never goes to this party. So, I took it as a joke and figured she was just playing with me. Well, I haven’t received any email announcements since. Am I obligated to attend holiday parties? On the real, I just don’t like being around these people any longer than I am paid to do so.”
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